part 40

Subject: I am a friend of Aimee’s

From:   androgrrl

To:       MackAttack

Date: 2/14 9:17 a.m.

Dear Mack,

This is Bo. She said that you’d know who I was.

Aimee wanted me to tell you that she’s okay. She’s going to stay in the hospital for a few days until this breakdown passes.

She’s suicidal, you know.

The doctor has decided to sedate her heavily so she can get some rest, then he’s going to put her on some medication to lessen the anxiety attacks. She’s in some intense emotional pain right now, Mack.

They’re not letting her have visitors for a few days, but if they keep her beyond Tuesday (the involuntary commitment time) and she decides to stay as a regular patient, then she can.

I really don’t know who you are, or if you know who I am to Aimee, but she wanted me to write you and let you know. I’m really worried about her. If you are her friend, you should be, too. I’ll keep you posted.




Subject: thank you, Bo

From: MackAttack

To: androgrrl

Date: 2/14 10:17 a.m.

“Dear Aimee,

This isn’t the first time you’ve cried out to me for help, not the first time I’ve given you my number and offered to take you away from the chaos. These are real offers for real help .”


Dear Bo,

As you can see from above, I was attempting to reply to Aimee’s cry when your letter appeared. I have been away for a while. I don’t need to explain to you who or what I am to Aimee. And to worry about her? Is that like praying? I can do that better. Pray. In her times of real crises, I have offered her real help, not just another body standing there wringing their hands. I am a real friend in that I don’t trick her or in any other way contribute to the messes she gets into. In ways direct, indirect and totally obtuse, I tried (and will try) to cut through her fog and reach her common sense. Though she asks for these things from me, she rejects it when I offer.

It was like that when she I and were together long ago as boyfriend and girlfriend. I can’t remember how many times she would ask me to show her how to do something, then start talking about other things and finally say, “It’s boring, Mack! Why are you always trying to teach me things as if you think I’m stupid!” I could feel like I needed the psych ward at times.

A lot of things seem to be catching up with her now and hitting her all at once. It gives me no pleasure to see her suffer. Would you know about people who don’t like to see suffering? Maybe she won’t do the same to you because you are female (right? something like that?), but every time I was in pain or a crisis, she would tell me it was all my fault and that I had no right to complain. Wouldn’t I be a mean old meanie if I told her the same?

Well, I am pretty shaken up right now knowing she’s in the hospital. I was in love with Aimee once, really in love. This was back in high school, and she paid no attention to me while I had that goofy ga-ga feeling for her. I don’t know if I ever told her. Only when I changed my act and was insulting to her did she start coming onto me.

Yours truly,

J. M. McDonnel

PS: Tell her I am praying for her, and tell her egotistical snarky Mack says there is nothing she can do to stop that kind of help.

Oh, and Bo, when you see her, tell her I am writing the “Aimee Etudes.” She’ll know what that means.




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