part 36

Subj:    hi

From:   BoPeep

To:       MackAttack

Date: 12/12 11:17 p.m.

Dear Mack,

I’m HOME. Finally. Good to be back. Well, almost. Seems the dog did a marathon garbage/puke/poop number last night (great timing) so I’m helping to clean up. Geez. Welcome home!

V didn’t come back with me. Mack, I’m a little concerned. Dad brought me to the airport and said that V has to get himself out of the mess he’s made. He told me to not worry about him, that V would land on his feet. I finally broke down and said that I didn’t understand what was going on. Dad said that V had mixed himself up with some really scary people and had put himself in a bad situation and he was trying to get things right. Dad said that he shouldn’t tell me much more. He was happy that I didn’t know anything, because I shouldn’t be involved. He told me he’d call me soon, and that I’d hear from V soon, so not to worry about it.

I don’t know, Mack. It’s like my whole life has just turned around. I have money in the bank and investments, stocks and bonds, and know my stepmother and know all these things about my Mother and Gil that I didn’t remember. I should be so happy but I’m not. I am so upset.   Sad, really.   It’s like the weight of the world has come down on me. What’s so wrong with me?

I called my counselor to get an appointment this week. My head is spinning.

Then, to make matters worse, Bo greeted me at the airport with a huge bouquet of roses. She was jumping up and down and really happy to see me. She gave me a huge hug and kiss right there at the airport. I felt kinda funny about it. I mean, what do I do? She’s one of my closest friends but she was way over the top. Then, in the car she got all quiet and I could tell she wanted to tell me something, so, stupid me, I asked.   She started to go on an on about how much she loves me. How she doesn’t want to live without me.   My stomach ache started churning and hurting. She just wouldn’t shut up, like she was trying to sell me.   I wish I’d never asked.

I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her that I’m just not feeling that way. It’s really hard. Is that why you always strung me along? Was that what it was like for you with me? Is this what guys go through?

I had eight messages from Lonnie, that guy I told you about, the salesman. He wants me to have dinner with him tonight. I’m really tired, and I don’t really like the fact that he left me so many messages. He left me one every day I was gone. Is that creepy, or what? I feel really pressured. I’m going to call him and tell him to give me some space and leave me alone for a while. I just think it’s weird that he’s so anxious, or whatever.

Mom left me three messages all sobbing and crying. Her latest hubby left her, for sure. He got that other babe pregnant and now he’s in Daddy Heaven….and wants a divorce immediately so he can marry this girl before she pops. Mom is just so upset. She wants me to come over and have popcorn with her and watch sad movies. How boring. I mean, yeah, just what I want to do watch my Mom cry and cry and cry. I’ve done that HOW many times in my life? I am really pissed at this. I mean, she treats me like crap then when a guy leaves I’m suddenly number one on her hit parade.

Damn, Mack. My Mom really uses me, doesn’t she? She said that Gil was asking about me. She wants to become a painter……she’s on some art kick. (Maybe she wants to use my toe to paint with?) Gil left me a message too. She wants me to teach her everything about art, this weekend, so she can become an artist and make money selling her stuff at those mall shows.   I wish I were kidding, Mack.   I wish.

I don’t feel like calling anyone back. I’m going to leave my phone off and take my last two days of vacation to relax and try and rest before I go back to work. The good news is that I paid off my car, totally. How fun. I’m so jazzed about that. I also paid off my credit card for this trip, already! So, I’m out of debt, completely. I really don’t need to work that second job as much ,now. Maybe I still will. I’m too tired today, with the time change and all. I called in and gave away my shifts for this weekend. I can’t believe that I had planned to come right back, have a few hours home, then go right to work. Uggh. No way I could do it. I didn’t realize how draining flying is, and the whole jet lag thing isn’t just b.s., is it?

How are you doing Mack? I’m anxious to hear that things are okay. I had a really bad dream about you last night. All I could hear was your voice, I couldn’t see you……but it started fading away. I got frantic and was searching for you and calling to you, but it was like my feet were stuck to the ground. Really scary. It’s been coming back to mind all day.

Hey, just got a call from my counselor and I can come in NOW. Cool. I really need to talk to him.




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