part 22

From: MackAttack

To: BoPeep

Date: 08/04     5:10a.m. PDT


I’m probably totally wrong. I mean, you’re right, had you told me some guy and his girlfriend were tying you up for art, I would have jumped all over you. But since it was me, I knew it was kosher. I can be trusted. I’m a hypocrite, and I might say the gods are flawed so why should man be any better, but that’s what got us into trouble the last time.

By the way, what are you into religiously? Anything for the good old spirituality? Most of your activities sounds good for the Coliseum, but what about for temple life?

I feel better. Life is on the upturn for us both, it seems. Your ads are being taken seriously. My life is going up because I am bipolar manic-depressive who refuses to take medication. Aww, just a mild case. It’s from the Hun connection in my family. You know, those guys with spikes on their helmets? My maternal grandfather was a Hun. He owned a small tool-and-dye works and treated all of his customers as worse than worthless if they didn’t know everything he knew. I take after him. I have times when I am like the grease monkey who thinks you should burn forever if you don’t know the difference between fuel-injection and a carburetor.

I’m glad you have friends and pay your bills, Aimee. I think I am glad. Right now, I don’t know if it is true gladness or if I am speaking for effect. You don’t expect me to get over being Mean Mack overnight, do you? Maybe I’ve been resisting letting you sweeten me up. I never did tell you how touched I was when you signed one of your letters, “Your little spider monkey.” It made want to have sex with you in the standing position, you on your knees.

Afterward, we would waltz around to something truly smaltzy, and you would get to know the side of me that is so sentimental you would hurl. Did you ever see it? I am capable of getting drunk with the guys and saying, “I love you, man!” And really meaning it at the time. Even like now, you see, I am suddenly inspired to write a suite for the Spanish Inquisition and must rush to the keyboard. More later .

Love, Mack


Subject: I just don’t know

From: BoPeep

To: MackAttack

Date: 08/09        11:10p.m. PDT

Dear Mack,

I never realized it, even when you are being nice you’re snarky. Huh. Go figure.

Who diagnosed you as a bipolar maniac….yourself? Hmmm. Okay, so you’ve been reading Readers Digest in the checkout line at the grocery store again..”I am Joe’s Brain”. Whatever. Sounds like you’d had “a snootful” (as my grandfather would say) of some good ol’ Wild Turkey before you wrote that choice letter. I’d say it’s all in your head, but…….. it is!

Hmm. Mack, seriously, I’m really worried about Martha and Zoe, do you have any clue who they are? Hmmm?

Okay, so focus your powers of perception on this, one. Martha is one of my roommates who I worked with at one of the bars. She’s a really cool butch type of girl, and she has this whacky girlfriend who looks like a soaking Yorkshire terrier. I’m NOT kidding. Well, to be honest, I don’t really care if Zoe is hit by a bus. I am worried about Martha. How do you get someone away from another person who is so totally poison? It’s like watching a moth (that you care about, okay.say it’s your pet moth) dance around a flame. You know that any second the moth is going to explode into fireball and crash in a smoldering wreck. I hate watching this, Mack. I need some advice. It’s scary to see. It’s like watching a car accident happen in slow motion but feel helpless to do anything. What can I do? I am just so afraid that Martha is going to get hurt….and I don’t mean just emotionally. Zoe stabbed Martha with a fork lathe other day. I mean, really! Even in my whacky family we don’t do physical damage with eating utensils.

Oh it wasn’t bad. I mean, Bo pointed out it “was just in Martha’s hand, not her gut or anything”. Martha had her hand on the kitchen counter and Zoe was eating something and they got in some argument and Zoe just sort of pinned Martha’s hand to the counter with the fork. I only broke the skin in two places, but the rage and the violence just brought back all the awful memories for me. It totally freaked me out.

Mack, I’m really concerned. What would you do? I mean, really, no snide remarks, just help me figure out what to do. I’m lost here. You know me, it’s just something that is eating at me because someone I really like is in a bad situation. I don’t know what to do. Next weekend the three of us (Bo, Kev and I) are going out of the house and talk about what to do. I wish I had something to say. Zoe is just irritating and we don’t like her around. But, when anyone tries to talk to Martha about it she gets all hurt and upset and, worst of all, defensive and protective of the little bitch.

Help me here, Mack. What was your question about religion about? Have you decided that you’re born again, or something, Mack? I don’t know what to say about that. I believe in what I believe in.

I’d better get ready to go out. Bo, my brother V, his mate Quentin, this person Cris (I have NO IDEA if he/she is male or female), and I are going out to see some performance art. I’m really not so keen on going, but it seems I have the only working car between the five of us, so, guess what? I’m driving. I think they only asked to go out because of the car. But, it’s a favor to Bo, as she’s been so nice to me lately.

So, I’ll go. I hope it’s not like last time where some guy dressed in all white, with white face makeup took out a white chainsaw and cut up teddy bears and a big chocolate cake. What a mess. I have no idea what it was supposed to symbolize, but it was stupid. They tell me this is better. As I don’t see how it could be worse, it’s better be. I hope so. The person, Cris is just a little creepy. It’s very hard to know what to say….when it comes to small talk. It’s strange to not know a person’s gender. Like do you say “hey, lookie at that cute dude, isn’t he a hunk?” or do you say “phew, cute Betty over there, don’t you think?” What if Cris and I both excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom…do I hang and walk with he/she, or do I just go my way, and let him/her go hers. If she’s a girl she’ll think I’m rude, and if she’s a guy, er whatver, then they’d think I’m weird for wanting to walk him to the boys room. I’ll tell you Mack, these are things I just don’t know how to think about.

Mack, were you really serious about me coming over and having a three way with you and your Japanese girl friend? Is that what you had in mind? Do you still have thoughts like that about me? It’s not like you’ve even said “good boink” from that time, you know. I thought I did something wrong and you just hated it, but were being polite. You were always such a horndog I thought you’d want to at least see me occasionally. We could have been friends and FB’s (if you get my drift). Seems a little late for that now. But, you never said a word.   It was confusing.

But wait, you said that you wanted to have sex with me with you in the standing position and me on my knees. How would that work? I can’t figure out what you meant…..

I’d better go….the performance art awaits.

Love, Aimee


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: